I’m not great at this kind of thing, being vulnerable, being open, sharing the things that happen in my life. I like the behind the scenes, the privacy … not the spotlight, not the attention. However, if there is anything I’ve learned in the past couple months is that I’m not strong enough, capable, or have broad enough shoulders to carry this burden alone. So here is my story…

I’ve gotten calls from my parents every Sunday night for the past ten years. Sometimes more, but never less. They call to catch up, let me know how the gym is going, how everyone is, to just updated each other on our lives. However, this call was different, this call came early one Wednesday evening in January and it would change me, shake me up, bring me to my knees, and make me feel like I’ve never ever felt before.

My parents had just left Baton Rouge. They came up to visit for Christmas, to see the house I had bought and meet the woman who I am now to marry. We had a great time, shopped, laughed, ate a bunch of Counter Culture, had a meet up with the Best family, they saw where I worked, met some of the people I worked with, saw where I lived and in a flash 10 days was gone.

I answer the call and my mom says that she was calling me to talk about something … and it catches me off guard. I hear her breakdown crying and tell me that my dad has gotten very sick, that for the past couple of weeks he’s had symptoms like loss of appetite, nausea, black urine, pale skin, and more. So they had to take him to the hospital and run some tests to see what was wrong.

I tell her that’s it ok and to call me back when they get the test results back and know what’s happening. A few days go by and my mom calls and explains the test results to me…

“They found a 4cm tumor in his pancreas…it was blocking a little tube for bile that was causing all the symptoms… you know what that means right? A tumor?”

“Yes, mom, I know…when will you know more?”

“This weekend”

“Ok, call me as soon as you know”

We had a HPC staff retreat that weekend. What incredible timing God has… it was great to be in that environment and let God work on my heart and just let Him be the comforter that He is. I know that during worship that night I let it all go and gave it all Him… “let Your will be done Lord, You are in control.”

Saturday night rolls around, I call home and my sister answers, we talk for a little bit and I ask if they had the test results, “Yes” she says…

“It’s Cancer in his Pancreas and it has metastasized to the liver”

“Wow, ok, where’s mom and dad?”

“They went to San Pedro Sula cuz dad had to teach this weekend”

“Ok, tell mom to call me.”

The weeks that followed have not been the easiest. Being so far away from home, trying not to show emotion in public, keeping up with work, struggling to understand why, so many things going and and everything was happening so fast.

“He wants to see you get married”, my mom said. “I know we talked about doing it in October, but the doctors are saying to change the dates. Can you do it in May? Like the first weekend in May?”

“Yes mom, I’ll talk to Lauren and we’ll figure everything out.”

Bittersweetness can best describe the next few weeks. Telling some of my close friends about what was happening, getting encouraged by them, and on Feb 20 Lauren and I got engaged! You can imagine the rollercoaster of emotions Lauren and I have both experienced over the past several months.

I’ve travelled to Honduras a lot over the last 11 years. I’ve gone for summer vacation, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break and more. This time was different though, I don’t ever remember being nervous and antsy as we were approaching the airport … don’t get me wrong, the landing in Tegucigalpa, Honduras is still one of the most “exciting” experiences around … but this was different, this was a different kind of nervous.

We arrived yesterday morning and were greeted at the airport by my sister and my nephew after a full morning of travel (thanks to JP and Gabi for the ride to the airport). The ride from the airport was the same ol’ ride, fought the traffic, rode on the same streets, saw the same sights, and pulled up on the same parking lot. However one thing was different… my dad was waiting for me at home and not at the airport.

Day one back at home was a true rollercoaster ride. I saw my sister for the first time in a long time. I saw the gym, the house, the people… my childhood was staring straight back at me. So many memories, so many stories I was happy to be home.

I hugged my dad, his once muscular, kick-yo-booty, 18″ guns, 6-pack, 9th degree black belt body has been attacked by this cancer. It’s hard for me to digest the way he looks, but it’s my dad. I don’t care what he looks like, I just want him to be healthy.

He’s a working man… a man that has had the same routine for over 50 years. Wake up, pray, work out, eat, nap, teach Tae Kwon Do, eat, teach Tae Kwon do, sleep… and repeat. On the weekends, What is there to clean? What is there to fix? A man who has planted 2 Korean churches.. Who was honored at Congress for his contributions to Honduran Athletics, a servant, a man that gives you the biggest piece of chicken even if he’s the hungriest one… a man of honor, respect, integrity, faith, love… that’s my dad. There’s so much I could say about my dad, I wish you could sit with him for a day and just let him speak over you. He has so much wisdom and experience.

Think about this, you leave your home country of Korea, have $50 in your pocket, a suitcase, you’re in a country where you can barely speak the language and 30+ years later you are honored at the Honduran Congress for what you’ve done in the country. WOW… I want to be my dad when I grow up.

The treatment is going well. Radiation is over and he has 2 more Chemo sessions left. His number one concern right now is being able to travel to our wedding. He’s mentioned a few things more than anything in the past two days… “I wish I could work, I need to make it to your wedding, and I feel bad for your mom.”

It’s going to be a great week. I believe that with all of my heart. I know that it makes a huge difference for Lauren and I to be here and just encourage him and help him through this tough time.

My prayer request is this… for my dad to have an open heart to receive the blessing and healing power of God, to have strength to fight the battle, to be encouraged, to know that people love and respect him no matter what he looks like.

He’s been a fighter his entire life, and right now he needs the strength to fight the hardest battle of them all. I’ll be updating as much as possible while we are here. Lauren is posting over at our wedding blog so you should check her posts there too.

Love you all, thanks for reading this long post.